Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
