Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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