you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fuck appropriateness.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Panties = found
Randomize
