: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
