i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
