so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Help. Why am I so naked?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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