some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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