please come you make the beer taste better
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
