Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
