you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize