She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
