and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
