How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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