Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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