Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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