The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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