just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
