i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
