Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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