Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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