STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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