well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
