Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
These tits shall not be calmed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize