so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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