and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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