I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
