So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
