Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
