Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
