i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
