We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
