I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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