she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
