I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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