I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
