i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
