I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
