he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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