Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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