Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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