my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Where is the hickey?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
