I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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