discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize