She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize