I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
