Already got asked if we're dating
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
