Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
