She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
