She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
ttyl tear gas
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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