it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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