When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
