D3 body, D1 cock
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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