Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
