Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
