I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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