I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
