Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I love you. Go after that dick
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
