im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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