Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
