"it" just moved
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
