someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
