im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
