Sry I called you an 8
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
