who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
