jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
