is wine microwaveable?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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