I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
